Power Rankings Halloween Edition

 As is tradition on all hallows eve... the Gold Coast presents the Rankings with a spooky twist. And nothing is spookier than the start the CFO's are having.

8) Tito's CFO's.

Just when the CFO's where looking to go on a winning streak, they have been denied with another loss.

7) Juju's Republic

Despite being in the 7th spot, the Republic seems to be on the rise with a win.

6) Porky's Prime Cuts

Porky is happy with all the spooky cuts he'll be eating up tonight .

5) Engineer's Beards

The Engineers find themselves beardless on this halloween with another loss to the Gold Rush.

4) Dude Where's my Carr?

The dude is not feeling so well after missing the opportunity to climb up to 2 in the rankings.

3) FX4 Gold Rush 

The rush have a lot to smile about on this halloween night.

2) Kaptain America

 America has activated beast mode after this last performance.

1) El Maestro Garcia

Despite a loss, the professor still reigns supreme over the Gold Coast League.

 

Week 3+4 Power Rankings

 Gentlemen weeks 3 and 4 have transpired which means a quarter of the season has come and gone but it also means that it's time for another installment of the Gold Coast Power rankings!

8) Tito's CFO's

Tito finds himself at the bottom of the rankings. Not a happy place to be in.

7) Engineers Beards

The beards season is off to a shaky start, Still uncertain if it will be a mighty beard season, or more of a clean shaven one.

6) Juju's Republic.

Juju has only one win at the quarter mark.... throwing the Republic into a quiet rage.

5) Porky's Prime Cuts

Porky has only won two of its 4 games. And .500 will always put Porky in a bad mood.

4) Dude Where's my Carr?

The Dude is currently merging onto the playoff lane. 

3) Kaptain America

America has three wins in the season but it's only loss has come at the hands off his most hated rival... the Gold Rush.

2) FX4 Gold Rush

The Gold Rush has raised its earnings with its 3 game winning streak.

1) El Maestro Garcia

The teacher is schooling everyone in the Gold Coast 

Week 1 + 2 Power Rankings

 Welcome yet again gentlemen to another season of the Gold Coast League. And as is tradition.. here provided are the always late Power Rankings!

I wish i could include more pleasantries but my time is simply limited. So with no further ado... the power rankings!!

8) Juju's Republic

The Republic has lost its first two as well and is thinking they're fine.

.....they're not.

7)  Tito's CFO's

The CFO's have started the season at o and two, and are at the verge of losing their job!

 

6) Porky's Prime Cuts.

Porky's cuts is off to a rough start with an 0 and 2 start as well. A tough pill to swallow.

5) Dude Where's my Carr?

The dude is off to a 1 and 1 start. Not too great. Not too bad.

4)  FX4 Gold Rush

 The Gold Rush find themselves in 4th place with an 1 -1 record and thus are trying not to draw too much attention to themselves... almost feeling like they don't belong in a playoff spot. They don't.

3) Engineers Beards

The Beards lost to America in week 2 but still have a top three spot.

2) Kaptain America.

Some rankings simply need no words.

1) El Maestro Garcia

Class is in session and the champ is still in front.

Week 1 + 2 Power Rankings

 Aaaaaaaand we are back gentlemen!! For our thirteenth season. That is quite a feat considering all the shit talking that is served regularly amongst us. Its been quite the journey along this Gold Coast.But enough with the mushy  mushy stuff. Let's get on with the rankings before any teats are shed.

Actually I may have spoken too soon. We're starting  with someone who has plenty to cry about... in our beer bitch slot......

8) Tito's CFO's 

  The tears may keep pouring... but so will the beers.

7) Kaptain America

America finds itself in peril after starting off the season 0 and 2. 

They have not been able to pick up the slack... much to everyone's delight.

 

6) Juju's Republic

Starting 1 and 1, the Juju's Republic looks to stay on course in the win column. They're on a mission.

 

5) FX4 Gold Rush

Here's a photo of the Rush's GM that last time they began the season 1 and 1.

Damn, not even sure if there was football back then , butwith this win, the rush are ready for the Olympics.

4) Dude Where's my Carr

The dudes are well on their way with a 1 and 1 record ....and yes.. they are in their car.

 

3) Porky's prime Cuts

Porky was not happy starting the season with a loss.

 

It was not fun being the losing brother of the household.

 

2) Rigo Suave

Behold, a winner is born.

 

The Suaves are undefeated along with the reigning Champions who stay at the prime number one spot.

1) Engineers Beards

These two undefeated managers are making the rounds, gracing the cover of GQ.

They're smoking that Gold Coast undefeated pack!!

 

And that concludes this version of the ranking gentlemen. Good luck to all!

Thanksgiving Special Power Rankings

 

It's Thanksgiving day here in the GCL and we've all gathered to enjoy a wonderful meal and share what we're all thankful for this season. 

And i know that everyone's curious as to what we'll be having. But thankfully our beer bitch candidates know:

Sounds like a lovely thanksgiving feast that we shall have for ourselves.

Is the turkey ready Jesse?

Almost? okay well then let's invite our guests in and feast! 

Except for those at the end of the table because of their putrid record...

But before we commence, our commissioner has some words for us:

And now we shall start with our wine server this year, the turkey of the league.

So what are you thankful for, Suaves?

Ooh can't exactly articulate what you're thankful for huh? Maybe just rap it out buddy.

         

"Well I'm thankful for ESPN allowing Taysom Hill to be used as a Tight End. because otherwise, i'd suck even more... i'f that's possible."

Wow, that's embarrassing.. how pathetic.. but also, our bottom dwellers are providing tonight's pre dinner entertainment...

7) Juju's Republic

Well, what's the Republic thankful for?

"Well, i'm thankful for Alvin Kamara guys, he's a fucking Stud, best fantasy rb in football..and I was able to grab him in the second round." 

That's a great thing to be thankful for.

Oh wait, the republic has an encore for us...

6)  Dude Where's my Carr

"Well I'm thankful for Russell Wilson cooking, because without him I'd be a lot worse off. "

Russ is having an MPV type year. 

5) FX4 Gold Rush

"Well I'm thankful to not be beer bitch this year. That's pretty great."

We agree Erik. Good going bud!

4) Tito's CFO's

"Well I'm thankful to be in the running for a playoff spot. It had been a while. It feels pretty great."

The CFO's are currently holding on to that 4th seed.

3) Kaptain America

"Well I'm thankful for democracy... and Kyler Williams."

2) Engineer Beards

"Well I'm thankful for my pair of stud Wr's. I wouldn't have this record without them."

Hopkins and Adams are something else.. no denying that.

1) Porky's Prime Cuts

"Well I'm grateful to be the reigning champ and still have the best record in the league" 

And damn it he's right...

Well that concludes our Thanksgiving Special Power Rankings. And remember guys, today is a day of giving thanks, reflection and counting our blessings... oh and football!! 

Musings From Around the NFL:

Thanksgiving football just hits different. Best day of the year

— Going Deep Podcast (@goingdeep) November 26, 2020

The best of John Madden on Thanksgiving 🦃 pic.twitter.com/yiirIXiUgB

— NFL Throwback (@nflthrowback) November 26, 2020

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A post shared by ESPN College Football (@espncfb)

 

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A post shared by NFL MEMES (@nflmemes_ig)

The yearly tradition pic.twitter.com/hUvzJLDHLG

— NFL Memes (@NFL_Memes) November 26, 2020

Week 10 Power Rankings

Well gentlemen, another week has transpired in the Gold Coast League, and theres been some movement in the rankings, but there remains one constant..one reassurance.. One thing you can take to the bank.. And that's that we have the same beer bitch...managers of the GCL, behold... Your bartender!!

Beer Bitch) Rigo Suaves.

After yet another loss (6 in a row now), the Suaves are where they rightfully belong.. In the fucking gutter. What an astrocious amalgamation of players. But that shouldnt keep the beer from coming!!

And also, the beat never stops with the Suaves!

7) FX Gold Rush

The rush aren't too far behind from their Suave brethren, standing pat at number 7. They can't find the way to a win.

There's a lot of question that remain with this team, but there is and always one thing that remains certain... they enjoy beer.

Maybe they're drinking so much to forget their record. Or maybe they just want to leave the planet because they're just that fucking bad.

6) Juju's Republic

The republic is in turmoil. 

Their King, unresponsive, unable to deliver what the people covet....the illustrious win!! But when things can't seem to go your way, sometimes a drink is what a king needs.

Just in time to recover and fight for the Republic!!

5) Dude Where's my Carr?

It was no easy cruise for the dude this week. 

Last minute heroics from America's Murray rendered the dude's hope dead. Now they will rely on Russell for some heorics of his own when they face Tito's CFOs.

4) Bontito's CFO's 

Call the SEC at once!! These CFO's are rolling and looking for a place in the GCL playoffs. 

After easily handling the pathetic Rush, the CFO's look the Big Ben Pornhub Roethlisberger to deliver a victory.

Zeke is back from his bye and looking to eat!

3) Kaptain America

This must be Taskforce "Win the Fucking GCL" in full effect because America has won two straight games and is on the rise! 

America now looks to expell Cook and Watson, anyone the Rush deems worthy of playing against might America. Look for America too easily handle the rush, to take them down like the villain of a movie. It's a script only hollywood could write. One only America could star in.

2) Porky's Prime Cut

Porky turned to an unlikely fellow to face the Suaves. That man was none other than Lamar Big Truss Jackson.

The one time Suave faced his former team and gave them a big fuck you on the way out. Now Porky looks to further exercise his prowess against. This is one heavy weight, no one can bring down.

1) Engineer Beards

Not much has changed. The beards are still number one and handling teams off the back of Josh Allen.

The beard is in great shape.

And he's ready for whatever challenger steps up.

Bitch Move of the Week:

Rigo Suaves for scoring 145 points, the least amount of all teams, guaranteeing a loss, his sixth in a row.  

Genius move of the Week:

Tito's CFO's for sticking with Tom Brady after a dud in week 9, and seeing him come through with a phenomenal game, ensuring his victory against FX4 Gold Rush, and in turn earning himself a spot in the playoff picture. 

Matchup of the Week: