The Gold Coast League : Week 2 Power Rankings

A new Tuesday has dawned.

Winners have faltered, losers have risen.

The standings will never be the same.

For some, the road to the playoffs has already proven to be a tumultuous and arduous one, it is a road paved with zero fucks and a a lot of cojones.

But before I begin. I must announce that history was made in our league this week. For the first time, ever, two expansion teams (rookies) have won their first W together in the same wee. Rigo Suave and Eulloqui have both won. Yes, you have heard correctly. Rigo Suave and Elloqui have won.

Footage of the two rookies celebrating:

And now for the power rankings:

Coming at 10... no surprise here:

10) Big Ben's Peter

After falling 0-2. Big Ben's Peter finds itself in a rut. Losing to the aids inflicted rookie Rigo, has relegated him to the last spot in the rankings. He will have to turn his season around if he has any hopes of acquiring a playoff spot.

Adding insult to injury, Big Ben's Peter may have lost Adrian Peterson to injury. Here, images of Ruben after learning of Adrian's knee:

And an update on Peterson now:

We've also caught footage of Ruben attempting to log into his WiFi:

Ruben wasn't too happy during his presser following the game:

Big Ben's Peter's season hangs in the balance. And there may be only one man that can fix it:

9) BonTitoFreak

Having suffered yet another loss, this time to Joaquin's Dream's Team, the freak has lost his mojo.

Here, some images of the freak trying to turn his season around.

Russel Wilson looked horrendous on offense. Maybe it had something to do with his training:

The freak is missing Le'veon and Gronk terribly. Here some reports on how his players are progressing in the bench:

We'll see if the freak can get his mojo back next week when he faces Sixburgh.

8) Porky's Prime Cut

It was a tough week to be a pig. I will save everyone the gruesome details of what transpired, and skip straight to the live images:

7) Team Eulloqui

Eulloqui brought America down. I don't know how he did it, but Eulloqui pulled out his first victory. Even Eli, a traitor to his country, didn't know how he pulled this tremendous feat.

Todd Gurley committing treason as he takes a bite out of that W.

Images of Eli the terrorist celebrating after the win.

6) Joaquin's Dream Team

A big victory to keep his team at .500.. but was it real or only a dream??

Images of Joaquin setting up his sleeping place prior to the matchup:

Regardless, the team sleeps well tonight.

5) Rigo Suave

Gentlemen, the rookie has won his first game. Let that sink in.

Rigo Suave is in the building and he's feeling himself.

He would also like to remind everyone of his team's fighting song:

4) You Can Run but you Can't Hyde

The running streak ended with a thud against Sixburgh.

3) Kaptain America

It's a sad day in America. The children weep.

But we will not stand for this. These terrorists. These "Elloquis" must be deported as soon as possible. They pose a threat to our national security everything that is great about this nation. They are after our jobs. Our wins. Our hopes and dreams of a playoff berth. The do not to deserve to play in this league. We must build a cyber wall to keep these fantasy rapists from washing up on our golden shore. They must be expelled from this league immediately. Lets make America great again.

2) Sixburgh Steelers

Sixburgh is undefeated. He's rolling easy through the 6.

Him and 302 the only undefeated teams standing.

And finally, the number one spot...

1) 302 Gold Rush

You all know why he's here.

The defending champ has proved to be in fine form and has started his 2016 campaign with two wins. The 302 is firing and roaring.

And you all must know that 302 is not just the Mustang Model this team drives, it is also the suite number of his new company. Here some footage of his new business venture.