Friday, October 20, 2017

Week 6 Power Rankings

Alright, motherfuckers.  The rankings are here, and let me just say it's not looking pretty for a lot of you. . Some have faltered, while others have prevailed. Some have risen and some like Beto and Erik have sunk to depths too embarrassing to fathom. 

 And on that note we'll begin. Coming it at number..
8) FX-4 Gold Rush

 Due to a pair of devastating injuries,  sights in the Gold Rush locker room have been somber lately.

Erik's been missing his top draft pick as a result, as can be seen in this recent photo of him in his bedroom.

And as a result other members of the Gold Rush have spoken up in support. Here is OBJ... saying... "Stay strong brother.. we shall over come this."

A post shared by Odell Beckham Jr (@obj) on



We should also mention that the Gold Rush lost OBJ as well. This was him post op.

Nothing seems to be going right for the last place Gold Rush. They say a comeback is coming. We doubt that.  

Anyway, prayers up to the losing motherfuckers




7) Rigo Suaves

And it is with great delight that I announce that the second to last place team is the Rigo Suaves.  Even though Zeke Elliot has somehow managed to avoid serving his suspension it has not done much for the Suaves, finding themselves with only two wins. 

The Suaves lost again, and this is how much we care:


And well what could he expect, he was facing Kaptain America.





Zeke should just serve his suspension, considering he's not offering much for the suaves.





6) BonTito Freak

Things have been simmering down in the bedroom for the freaks. They're having a hard time scoring. Amari Cooper racked up a whopping one point. 


Not really but maybe ... just maybe he'll turn things around for Thursday's matchup against the chiefs. It would be a shame if The Freaks benched him. 

One thing is for certain, the freaks have lost their mojo once again.




5) Chingones de Zacatecas

These chingones have been anything but chingon through week 6. 


The bad news for these chingones is that they will face the wrath of America next week. And america does not tolerate pretend fake chingones. 

America cares not for Zacatecas nor the chingones that hail from there. Prepare for a bloodbath.



4) Porky's Prime Cut

Porky's cuts are back in business now with two straight wins. Riding on the shoulders of the mighty Alex Smith.




But a bigger concern at Porky's Prime Cuts is the play of Julio Jones.


Fortunately, Porky has been able to win despite Jones' poor numbers, and will looks to serve some premium cold cuts when they face The Cheddarmakers.


3) Team Cheddarmakers

The Cheddarmakers lost the pivotal matchup against Engineering Champions. 

Here a pic of Cam Newton during the post game presser:


Tom Brady was not happy about being left on the bench for that game:



Despite the loss, the cheddarmakers find themselves in playoff seeding. As of now... we'll see how long that will last.

2) Kaptain America

America was glorious as always crushing the Suaves by more than 50 points.

Cheers to that!


Feeling so patriotic right now.



1) Engineering Champions

They're looking like champions more and more every week. After beating the CheddarMakers, Engineering champions improve to 5-1 as they prepare to face the Gold Rush.

Antonio Brown returned to his scoring ways.



Carson Wentz, his new savior:




And with that... we go to 

Bitch Move of the Week:



FX-4 Gold Rush

for starting Aaron Rodgers who only scored one point. And no.. we don't care that it was bc of an injury.




Genius Move of the Week:


Engineering Champions for scoring a the week high 200 points. Led by none other than Antonio Brown with 47 Points.






Random Funny Shit:












Posted by at No comments:

Tuesday, October 3, 2017

Week 4 Power Rankings

If you're reading this, it's too late.

Gentlemen of the Gold Coast League... if your eyes are viewing this now-- wether via phone, tablet, computer or any another device-- it means the vaunted Power Rankings have returned. 






So if your team sucks... you might just want to look away. 



Alright, so coming in hot at number 

8) Chingones de Zacatecas

More like Chingones de last place. Despite a strong outing from the Red Rifle Andy Dalton, Chingones was unable to pull ahead of Porky's Prime Cut, leaving him with a 1-3 record. 

That's just not gonna cut it, chingon.



7) Rigo Suave

The Suaves find themselves yet again at the bottom of the standings. The Suaves found themeselves in a similar situation last season but were able to fly up the rankings and sneak into the playoffs. Will their fate be the same this season? It does not seem likely but stranger things have happened... like a 16 year old contracting aids during a netflix & chill session....at 6 in the morning no less. 




Even Zeke thought that was funny..



6) FX4 Gold Rush

The Gold Rush have fallen far from grace. They lost the Gold Bowl rematch against the mighty Kaptain America, leaving them with putrid record of 1-3. That means they have lost the last 4 of their 5 matches, extending into last season. 

We can now confirm that the 4 in FX4 represents the total amount of wins they'll have this season. A recent trade with BonTito Freak hopes to turn their luck around. But we don't see that happening. 

No hail mary could've kept Aaron Rodgers and the Gold Rush from avoiding this holy beatdown against America.



Hey, the good news, is that you always look fresh in gold, my guy.


Brees had some words after the game:


I mean.. it's ok if you are.. He did take you to school:


Hope you learned something.




5)  Porky's Prime Cuts

After a solid outing against Chingones,  Porky Prime Cuts find themselves in the middle of the rankings this week, standing with a .500 record of 2-2.  Russell Wilson and Jordy Nelson showed up to eat this week. 



Lets see if that trend continues. But for now, the team is in high spirits.




4) BonTito Freak

The Freaks were on their way to a winning record before Che$$armmaker came and gave them the loss. Marshawn did not have much to reason to celebrate and go "dumb" this week.



But a bigger loss for the freaks was having their stud RB Dalvin Cook go down for the season.



For now the Freaks seem to have a strong grip of their mojo, but will it continue now that Cook is out? 


Even Dalvin is skeptical.

3) Che$$armaker 

Team Cheddarmaker took an L last week but bounced back to get the W this week. Big Tom Brady has come in clutch for the cheddar makers, proving to be a solid MVP candidate. They are sitting pretty with a 3-1 record.


The cheddarmakers will look to make more cheddar as they face FX4 GoldRush next week.


2) Kaptain America

True to form, America continues to rake in wins no matter the opposition. Drew Brees and Leveon Bell have proven to be a lethal duo.


The FX 4 rolled up, and Le'veon had no problem dishing them that L.



And when asked who could kill the Gold Rush......



Images of him post game:


The guy is just too cool.

America may have a dick for a president... but they're making fantasy football great again. 



And coming in at number..

1) Engineering Champions

There may be some champions being engineered here as Kareem Hunt and Todd Gurley have shown to be the most lethal backfield in the Gold Coast. 




.. taking away some of the offensive points away from Antonio Brown, who was not happy.



They will have to engineer themselves as they will face Porky's Prime Cuts in week 5, in what looks to be one of the better matchups of the week. 


Random Funny Shit:






A post shared by Bleacher Report (@bleacherreport) on




Bitch Move of the Week:

Rigo Suave for Leaving Dak Prescott, Deandre Hopkins, and Bilal Powell on the bench.. which all accounted for a total of  134 points. That's only 33 points less than what his entire team scored. Ouch... what a bitch move.


Even Romo couldve predicted leaving Dak on the bench was a bitch move...



Genius Move of the Week: 

Engineering Champions for setting the lined up that scored a total of 208 points. The highest in week 4. Including Gurley who scored 59 points, the 2nd highest of the week.





Best of Week 4:

Tony Romo's Best Calls:



Every Team's Best Play:



Best Catches:



Best of College Football:










Posted by at No comments:
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)