Gentlemen of the Gold Coast League... if your eyes are viewing this now-- wether via phone, tablet, computer or any another device-- it means the vaunted Power Rankings have returned.
So if your team sucks... you might just want to look away.
Alright, so coming in hot at number
8) Chingones de Zacatecas
More like Chingones de last place. Despite a strong outing from the Red Rifle Andy Dalton, Chingones was unable to pull ahead of Porky's Prime Cut, leaving him with a 1-3 record.
That's just not gonna cut it, chingon.
7) Rigo Suave
The Suaves find themselves yet again at the bottom of the standings. The Suaves found themeselves in a similar situation last season but were able to fly up the rankings and sneak into the playoffs. Will their fate be the same this season? It does not seem likely but stranger things have happened... like a 16 year old contracting aids during a netflix & chill session....at 6 in the morning no less.
Even Zeke thought that was funny..
6) FX4 Gold Rush
The Gold Rush have fallen far from grace. They lost the Gold Bowl rematch against the mighty Kaptain America, leaving them with putrid record of 1-3. That means they have lost the last 4 of their 5 matches, extending into last season.
We can now confirm that the 4 in FX4 represents the total amount of wins they'll have this season. A recent trade with BonTito Freak hopes to turn their luck around. But we don't see that happening.
No hail mary could've kept Aaron Rodgers and the Gold Rush from avoiding this holy beatdown against America.
Hey, the good news, is that you always look fresh in gold, my guy.
Brees had some words after the game:
I mean.. it's ok if you are.. He did take you to school:
Hope you learned something.
5) Porky's Prime Cuts
After a solid outing against Chingones, Porky Prime Cuts find themselves in the middle of the rankings this week, standing with a .500 record of 2-2. Russell Wilson and Jordy Nelson showed up to eat this week.
Lets see if that trend continues. But for now, the team is in high spirits.
4) BonTito Freak
The Freaks were on their way to a winning record before Che$$armmaker came and gave them the loss. Marshawn did not have much to reason to celebrate and go "dumb" this week.
But a bigger loss for the freaks was having their stud RB Dalvin Cook go down for the season.
For now the Freaks seem to have a strong grip of their mojo, but will it continue now that Cook is out?
Even Dalvin is skeptical.
3) Che$$armaker
Team Cheddarmaker took an L last week but bounced back to get the W this week. Big Tom Brady has come in clutch for the cheddar makers, proving to be a solid MVP candidate. They are sitting pretty with a 3-1 record.
The cheddarmakers will look to make more cheddar as they face FX4 GoldRush next week.
2) Kaptain America
True to form, America continues to rake in wins no matter the opposition. Drew Brees and Leveon Bell have proven to be a lethal duo.
The FX 4 rolled up, and Le'veon had no problem dishing them that L.
And when asked who could kill the Gold Rush......
Images of him post game:
The guy is just too cool.
America may have a dick for a president... but they're making fantasy football great again.
And coming in at number..
1) Engineering Champions
There may be some champions being engineered here as Kareem Hunt and Todd Gurley have shown to be the most lethal backfield in the Gold Coast.
.. taking away some of the offensive points away from Antonio Brown, who was not happy.
They will have to engineer themselves as they will face Porky's Prime Cuts in week 5, in what looks to be one of the better matchups of the week.
Random Funny Shit:
Colts vs Seahawks. What a matchup this is. It’s Horses vs Birds, man. Wow. This is something straight out of a National Geographic magazine— Jon Gruden (@Faux_Gruden) October 2, 2017
Hey Eli... pic.twitter.com/f4cU5HZVlR— NFL Memes (@NFL_Memes) October 1, 2017
Philip Rivers Sunday temper tantrums are the best https://t.co/wRTSTTHr4Q— Faux John Madden (@FauxJohnMadden) October 1, 2017
Bitch Move of the Week:
Rigo Suave for Leaving Dak Prescott, Deandre Hopkins, and Bilal Powell on the bench.. which all accounted for a total of 134 points. That's only 33 points less than what his entire team scored. Ouch... what a bitch move.
Even Romo couldve predicted leaving Dak on the bench was a bitch move...
Genius Move of the Week:
Engineering Champions for setting the lined up that scored a total of 208 points. The highest in week 4. Including Gurley who scored 59 points, the 2nd highest of the week.
Best of Week 4:
Tony Romo's Best Calls:
Every Team's Best Play:
Best Catches:
Best of College Football:
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