Wednesday, October 31, 2018

Week 8 Power Rankings -- Halloween Edition

 **** Now, Disclaimer....

To enjoy the optimal Halloween Edition I recommend you press play on the video below as you proceed with the rankings... let it play......


 It's Halloween night on the Gold Coast.

 And a storm rages on our shores..












Sleeting our beaches with the blood of the undead.. of the fantasy fallen that just refuse to die. On this night,  Halloween night, they rise from their graves and haunt us for one more time. 


Find shelter. Lock Your doors. Your windows. Hide if you must. But even then, I must warn you... the fantasy fallen mercy no one...


Now follow me if you will .....into my humble abode....Mansion America America....

 

 


 Follow me upstairs... I plead you...


Now come... gather around the fire...

 Oh... hello there. You made it...


Grab yourself a drink and relax... and let me tell you the horrifying tale of the Week 8 Power Rankings, a tale never before told that will send chills down your spine...

 It was all hallows eve when at 8 we had the Chingones came in. 

8) Chingones de Zac..

 Now the only thing scary about these chingones was their record. They had lost 7 of their last 8 games. And that meant that at midnight he would become the evil, much feared, beer bitch.

Serving his poison to all who would partake.

Driving them insane.

 


And then at 7 came in those freaks!

7) Bon Tito Freak

The freaks came out at night,  wreaking havoc.



 

They were some hideous things... but the only thing uglier was their record.

 And at 6 came the Gold Rush.

 6) FX4 Gold Rush

 And all these pathetic creatures wanted was gold.

And they would often disappear...

....much like their winning record.

 And at 5 came the evil porkys.

 5) Porky's Prime Cuts

 These porky's would hunt those who usually ate them.



..with the hopes of the more humans they slaughtered, the more Wins they'd achieve. They were mistaken.

 And at 4 came the evil Cars.

 4) Dude Where's my Carr?

 These cars had a mind of their own.



 
 

They drove recklessly wherever they wanted to, except victory.

 And at 3 came the chilling Suaves.

3) Rigo Suaves

 These suaves carried an evil charisma, seducing anything they wished.

They even seduced a victory for once.

And at 2 came the dreadful engineers.

2) Engineering Champions.

And not only did they engineer Champions... they engineered the dead back to life as well.

 

 

But unfortunately would be unable to engineer a champion like they did last halloween.

 And it one came the most feared of them all.... Kaptain America.

1) Kaptain America

This Kaptain, a hockey captain, was the most badass motherucker. Everyone feared him.

 


He slaughtered all of his competition.



He could not be stopped, amounting an undefeated record.




And he was never stopped. He went on to win the Trofeo d' Oro. 

And that concludes our chilling tale of the week 8 Power rankings.

And it has come time for me to go. I bid you adieu.

 The storm has passed...
The shores have receded..




Dawn has come.. and the monsters, and fantasy fallen must now vanquish.



Slither back to our cursed graves.

Until all hallows eve next year..

 And now the Week 8 victors may enjoy a victory cigar.







Ghoul Move of the Week:




Porky's Prime Cut

 for not starting Marvin Jones Jr. and Deshaun Watson. A pair that could've given them the victory against Kaptain America.

Genius Move of the Week:

Fx4 Gold Rush

 for setting up the lineup that scored the most in week 8 with 235, leading them to a much needed win, possibly saving their season




Random Funny Shit:



A post shared by NFL MEMES (@nflmemes_ig) on



A post shared by Laces Out (@lacesoutshow) on





Highlights:

 NFL:

College:












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Wednesday, October 17, 2018

Week 6 Power Rankings

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood..

 It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood...

 Hello all, I'm Aaron .... welcome to my neighborhood.

 I know you're all here for the Week 6 standings, and we shall get to them shortly, but first id like to share with you a lesson in numerology.

 We will start with the number....


The Number 3, yes. 3 signifies the number of spatial dimensions we live in. Incredible.
Now we shall move on with the number...


 

The number 2. Now the reason the number two is so significant is  because it is the only even prime number. Can you believe that? wow. Remarkable.


The last number we will address in today's lesson is the number....



Seven is a cool number. Not only is it the number our founding father Colin Kaepernick bore, it is also the smallest number of sides of a regular polygon that is not constructible by straightedge and compass.I know exactly what that means.


Individually these numbers don't mean much but when put together, something interesting begins to unfold..


Together they become 327 and represent the holy fucking beatdown Kaptain America unleashed on Rigo Suave. I mean good god  that was downright criminal what transpired this week. 

Kaptain America dropped  327 on Rigo Suave and there was nothing he could do. He was essentially rendered dead. Raped and then killed by fantasy standards. 

And I scored 74 of them.


 Well Kids,  another day in the neighborhood. That concludes our lesson for today. Now lets go on with the rankings.. and talk shit about these less scoring motherfuckers.

Beer Bitch Spot)

 Ring the alarm... ring the alarm. We have a new Beer Bitch in our midst.

 BonTito Freak

 The freaks lost the battle for beer bitch. We just hope you don't serve us your beers of preference.




 OBJ has been a major disappointment but its good to see that his dancing is still great.





7) Chingones de Zac.

 These chingones actually had a Victory!! For the first time in 2018 these Chingones know what it feels like to have a win. And for the first time they know what it feels to not be in the beer bitch spot.
 


6) FX4 Gold Rush

The rush lost a close match against Porkys. Another L . Another pathetic performance of under 150 points. No surprise here.  What is interesting is that they lost by 3. And as we discussed earlier 3 signifies the number of spatial dimensions we live in. 


Which can only mean that they suck....but in all 3 dimensions.

 

Maybe with a Win next week (highly unlikely) they'll only suck in 2. Which is the only prime even number.

5)  Dude Where's My Carr?

The narrowest of defeats, 2 points to be exact, brought Carr to tears.



 Aw don't cry. Look, smile.. i found your car.



4) Rigo Suaves

 Everyone is shocked that the Suaves are still in the league after that beatdown. But here they are, holding their head high... though they have no reason to.


Although Kirk did have an interesting dance.




Real suave there Kirk. Better luck next time.


3) Porky's Prime Cut

 After defeating the Gold Rush, Porky's moves up one spot in the rankings.








All thanks to Watson's 11 points.




They will look to move forward another spot as they face the crying Carr.

 2) Engineering Champions

 The reigning champs find themselves in familiar territory, nearing the top of the rankings.





We'll see if they reigning champs can keep to their winning ways. Well theyre playing FX4 so chances are they can.

  
1) Kaptain America
Who else would be number 1? of course its America.  And this is how we celebrate
 




Yeah, drop some of that winning confetti on these motherfuckers. Quite frankly it's getting boring at the top.





Waiting for a challenger. Chingones... could that be you? Tune in!!


Genius Move of the Week:

 Kaptain America for scoring 327 Points! The most points in Gold Coast History surpassing Bout that Action Boss' 309 point performance from week 9 in 2015.

 Rodgers leading the way with 74.


Bitch Move of the Week:

 FX4 Gold Rush for scoring the lowest amount of points out of anyone for the second week straight. And for his bench QB outscoring his starter once again.
Highlights:
NFL: 


College:









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