Friday, December 6, 2019

Week 13 Power Rankings

I know, I know... it's been a while since the highly sought Rankings have made an appearance.. but fret no more... the Rankings are back. The last set of rankings for the season at that, but do not let that distract you from the fact that we may have a BEER BITCH in our midsts... Erik, the honors....


8) Beer Bitch Spot - FX4 Gold Rush

 That's right... a loss this week would secure Erik as the Beer Bitch for the 2020 Gold Coast League draft. And nothing would be welcomed more than Erik serving us beer like the bitch that he is!!

Yeah .. and no foam!... bitch.

 7) BonTito Freak

 The freaks find themselves uncomfortably close to the Beer Bitch Spot. They will have to dig out a win against the Suaves to secure he does not face the same fate as last season. The freaks will be extremely nervous watching this weekend.


6) The Eulloquis

A win against the Freaks last week has secured that no Eulloqui will be serving beers this coming 2020... but what the Eulloquis don't realize is that America is coming for them this week. And there will be no mercy. No mercy! Nooo Mercy!! 



Alvin Kamara will be held to less than 10 points by the vaunted 49ers Defense and the Eulloquis will have almost no chance of a win. 


5) Dude Where's my Carr?

Dude has been carless the past couple week, unable to pick up the wins that would have guranteed them a playoff  berth by now. But now the Dude heads into a preliminary do or die matchup against Porky's Prime Cuts. The winner will claim the last playoff spot available. 

McCaffrey and the all white all stars will have to show up to play if they have any hopes of the playoffs.




4) Porky's Prime Cuts

Porky's Prime Cuts has had one of the most explosive rosters in the league... but yet it has not been enough to secure them a playoff berth. They will have to rely on Lamar Jackson and Michael Thomas if they expect to beat Dude and all his white boy all stars.






3) Kaptain America

Americaaa... Americaaa ...God shed his grace on thee!! And so he has. America, the beautiful, the great, the undeniable... is geared for a deep playoff run yet once again. Some things never change. They will finally vanquish the Eulloquis for the first time in Gold Coast history. America, you truly are beautiful.






2) Rigo Suaves

 The Suaves have been losing but somehow they find themselves in the playoffs. Sound familiar? Yeah they are one in the same with the Gay Dallas  Cowboys, and like the Cowboys, they face a similar destiny. A one and done in the playoffs.


1) Engineering Champions

The Champions have maintained the number one spot all season, and do so heading into the last week of the season , and then the playoffs thereafter. What began as an undefeated season has withered into an 11-2 record. Will Dalvin Cook and Deshaun Watson be able to keep the magic alive??



Yeah, i don't think so either Dalvin. It was a great run.


Yeah, time to go to sleep Deshaun. See you next year.




And with that... good luck gentlemen! 


Matchup of the Week:





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Thursday, October 31, 2019

Week 8 Power Rankings - Halloween Edition

And on this hallows eve...the Gold Coast awaits the night of the fantasy fallen...

** For maximum effect play the soundtrack below:**


                                         




..the ones that rise from the dead....




and haunt the shores... looking for any win possible. But there are eight of these fallen that are scarier and more chilling than the rest. Starting with the Gold Mummy of the Rush.

8) FX4 Gold Rush

See, the Rush Mummy guarded the gold in his tomb from intruders and treasure seekers...


... but it was to no avail for The Mummy's season was all but dead.


7) The Eulloquis

And then there are The Eulloquis , who wandered the Gold Coast in search of wins..but they were not much more than zombies, a strum of walking dead aimlessly scourging for a .500 record.


The walking dead Eulloquis roamed and roamed for a win but there was none in sight.


6) BonTito Freaks

The Freaks hunted in the night..stalking for prey..looking for just one win..just one that would keep him from plundering to the hellhole that was the beer bitch spot.


Civilians ran and hid from the freaks... hoping none would be confronted by such monstrosities.


5) Kaptain America

The American dream turned into a nightmare...a nightmare that looked to haunt the sleep of all in the vast coast..but it failed to frighten any...for the dread of three measly wins couldn't scare even the weakest of tresppassers.





4) Dude, Where's my Carr?

And Dude's car became alive. An engine roaring with terror.


Looking only to runover its competition...Making his opponents nothing more than smoldering road kill.



3) Porky's Prime Cuts

And the Porky's turned enraged..




Butchering their foes and selling them by the pound.


 A true act of vile and disgust.


2) Rigo Suave

These Suaves were the most cunning and charismastic of monsters.


Seducing their opponents and killing them with charm.


1) Engineering Champions

These Engineers were not just engineering champions and wins...no, no these masterful engineers were engineering the most frightful of monsters. Monsters that became alive with the hunger of blood, seeking nothing but the blood and flesh of their victims.






Ghoul Move of the Week:


BonTito Freak for setting up the lineup with the least amount of points. 145.8.


 Genius Move of the Week:



Dude, Where's My Carr.. for passing the 300 point threshold... scoring 320... nearing Kaptain America's record with 325.

Best Matchup for Week 9:

Musings From around the NFL:






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NFL Highlights:
Every touchdown:


College Football Highlights:

 Top 25 plays:





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Wednesday, October 16, 2019

Week 6 Power Rankings

Uno, dos, no tres ..that's a loss yo!

 We got the Suaves losing back to back, though! 

 America beating that shitty ass team by a lot bro.

 ohhhhhhh

Take that L Rigo...



You couldv'e started Saquon and an Extra TE... and still gotten that L son... Mr. I don't need to start a TE against Ivan.

 Humble yourself.
America is back. And his coming for everyone on the rankings... starting with none other than....
8) The Eulloquis

 The Eulloquis are the sole possessors of the 8th and final spot. A strong candidate for Beer Bitch, the Eulloquis find themselves in quite the predicament as they face the almighty America.  Curiously enough, the Eulloquis last participation in the Gold Coast saw him sweep America twice. Could their luck strike again? Could Brady come in and wreck America's winning streak?


7) FX4 Gold Rush

 Not far from  Beer Bitch territory is the incredulous Gold Rush. The controversial addition of George Kittle proved to be ineffective as it was not enough to take down Porky and his famous prime cuts. The Rush will look to rebound as they tee off against the undefeated Engineering Champions.

 Will Kittle and company dish the Engineering Champions their first loss of the Season?
God, we hope so.


6) Porky's Prime Cuts

 Porky finally saw his Cuts pay dividends with a high score, pushing the team to victory and chalking up just their second W of the season. Porky's lineup will really be put up to the test in week 7 with Dude Where's my Carr.

 Will Lamar rise to the occasion or will it be whatever QB Dude chooses to put out on the field?

5) Bontito Freak

 The freaks keep the dream alive with another win, keeping their record .500. Russell Wilson's MVP season has catapulted the freaks as possible playoff contenders. Will Wilson's spectacular play be enough to bring down the Suaves and gift them their third L in a row?

 We believe so.. and he may even have some beats of his own melody for the Suaves.


4) Dude Where's my Carr? 

Atrocious QB play has nullified any grand feats of McCaffrey's for the past two weeks, resulting in two straight losses.  Dude will have to look inward and find a real answer at QB if they want to avoid a third straight loss at the hands of Porky, no less. 

Will it be Baker? .... Golden Boy Goff? 

One thing is for certain. He won't be playing a QB that faces the 49ers anytime soon.



3) Kaptain America

Back to back wins has brought America back to the top 3 of the rankings. But his biggest test remains afoot in week 7 in the form of the Eulloquis, a team he has never...ever defeated.

America will have their revenge.

Murray will be ready.





2)  Rigo Suaves


Despite losing in back to back weeks, the Suaves somehow find themselves still in second place. It's all really pathetic actually. However, the only silver lining that came from week 6 for the Suaves is that Saquon Barkley may be ready for next week, and he can hardly wait.




And neither can the Suaves.. because they're really sucking without him.


1) Engineering Champions

No surprise here. The Engineering Champions still find themselves undefeated after week 6 and will look to keep tine wins coming as they face non other than the Rush in week 7. Will newly acquired Fournette make his Champions debut and play villain against his former team?


We shall have to wait and see.





Bitch Move of the Week:



Dude Where's My Carr?

For starting Goff and his entire 2.8 points, while leaving Steffon Diggs and his 77 points on the bench. Ouch.



Speechless.




Genius Move of the Week:


Kaptain America

for setting up the lineup with the most points in Week 6 with 260.8. Kyler Murray leading the way with 66.4






Best Matchup for Week 7:


Musings from around the NFL:
























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NFL Highlights:

Every Team's Best Play:


             

Mc'd up:




Top Catches:




College Football Highlights:



Top 25 Plays of week 7:  




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