Wednesday, September 18, 2019

Week 2 Power Rankings

Hey guys, this is Jesse Monday night checking his fantasy score:







....and this was Ishy:




Half a point. Half a point was all it took for Dude Where's My Carr? to claim victory over the Eulloquis.

It's one of the absolute worse ways to lose in fantasy. Condolences to the Eulloquis. But what is another devastating way to lose is by having your star QB exit the game after just one drive.




Such was the luck for America in this Week 2 of the Gold Coast League... and now on with the rankings!

8) Fx4 Gold Rush

OBJ going off on primetime during MNF was not enough for the Rush to surpass the undefeated Suaves. And now the Rush is one of two winless teams.

And again it's a shame the Gold Coast doesn't reward Fashion Sense because with the outfit Cam donned post game there's little doubt the Rush would have come out on top.

Dashing... Judges?


Sorry, bud. 


7) Porky's Prime Cuts

It was a week to forget for the Porky. Two of his star players offered a combined score of 0. That's correct.. zero. Nada...


Unbelievable. The only thing worse than being beer bitch is losing to the beer bitch.



Maybe next week his players will put up more points on the scoreboard.


....yeah, we'll see about that.

6) BonTito Freak

The freaks have finally won an early season match! He's actually .500 at 1-1!






Russell Wilson, Le'veon Bell, and Devante Adams all had 30+ points to give the freaks their first win of the season.


5) Kaptain America

An unfortunate injury to the amazing Drew Brees has relegated America to one of it's lowest rankings in a long time.  The injury to his throwing thumb will sideline America's QB for approximately 6 weeks.





But fret not America... it's Murray time.




4) The Eulloquis

The Eulloquis where asking Dude Where's my half a fucking point? after suffering the loss of all losses.. the worst possible defeat you could have: losing by half a point... half a point!





If only Brady could've scored just one more point...



And now to the victor of the all too close matchup..

3) Dude Where's my Carr?

The Dudes found themselves on the winning end of the half point battle and it seems as though Baker has turned his luck for the better of the team.



It's not every day that you win by half a point, so the Dudes will rejoice in victory.. but one thing is for certain... they will need more than half a point margin to be victorious against the almighty America.

Will the dudes be up for the task?

2) Engineering Champions

Engineering champions owe their undefeated record to none other than Aaron Donald for hurting America's QB.. Drew Brees. 


Thanks to Donald, a subpar performance from Deshaun Watson and Deandre Hopkins went unnoticed in the Champions' win.



That simply won't do if they hope to go 3-0.

1) Rigo Suaves

Not much to elaborate on here. The Suaves won against an inferior opponent in the Rush. It was expected. Mahomes is cruising...



Saquon is beasting..



...... whatever...


Let's see if he can come out of Porky's Prime Cuts unscathed.



Bitch Move of the Week:


Kaptain America

...but with an asterisk. Yes, America scored the lowest amount of points of the week, but only because Brees went down.


Genius Move of the Week:



Rigo Suaves

No surprise here..they scored the most points in the week with 224.



Best Matchup for Week 3:




Musings from around the NFL:




















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NFL Highlights:

Every team's best play:




Every Touchdown:






Top Catches:




College Football Highlights:

Top 25 plays from Week 3:





Week 4 Predictions:





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Wednesday, September 11, 2019

Week 1 Power Rankings




Ahhh! Can you smell it? Do you feel it? It's that time of year again. The happiest time... Football season. And not just any season... but the one-hundredth season. And with it comes the beginning of our own eleventh season here in the Gold Coast League.

 It won't be just any other season here in the Gold Coast League either...

 In this eleventh season, a first-time champion will look to defend his title, although it seems highly unlikely.

 A Beer Bitch, and common bottom dweller, will  fight and rise through mediocrity and try to avoid an all too familiar fate.

 A one time foe of America, returns and quietly aspires to repeat a sweep of America, which will never happen again.

 Enemies and rivals return to make this, the eleventh season of the Gold Coast League the best one yet.

 Week 1 of the eleventh season has already transpired, and in its wake has left the first set of rankings:

 8) BonTito Freak

 Some things just never change. Two things you can't count on? The freaks losing their first game and Texas losing when hyped to "finally" be back.

Don't cry freaks... better days are ahead. Maybe?

 A point of encouragement however, was the stellar return of Le'veon Bell.


7) Fx4 Gold Rush

 The only thing this team is rushing to is yet another losing season. It's expected with the teams current ownership.

 The players just simply didn't show up.

 Matt Ryan could not do enough to pull the rush to victory.

OBJ trotted out with his $350,000 dollar Richard Mille watch


But unfortunately for the Rush,  they don't give points for fashion statements..



 6) Porky's Prime Cuts

 Porky's Prime cuts wasn't up to their usual standards. Carson Wentz's superb outing was lost in yet another Week 1 matchup against the always tough America.


Not all was bad... a bright spot for Porky was the emergence of the rookie Josh Jacobs.


5) Dude Where's my Carr?

 Dude had the unfortunate task of facing the reigning champion Rigo Suave, and it proved to be a daunting matchup since his 211.9 points was not enough to surpass the Suaves.

 McCaffrey's astounding 69 points was not enough to get the win for Dude.

A better performance from Baker Mayfield could have propelled the Dudes to make it a closer battle. His 28 points was one of then poorest amongst the starting quarterbacks. Perhaps he shouldn't have been drafted so high.


4) Kaptain America

 As what seems to have become a tradition, America started yet another season with a win.  And it was only proper that America's running back,  Ezekiel Elliot's  signed his contract extension just in time for week 1.

 America set the table.... all Zeke had to do was eat.

Drew Brees was up to his usual self and secured the win on MNF.

Brees and company will have to rise to the occasion this week, as America faces the number two team.


3) The Eulloquis

Not a bad first showing for the return of the infamous Eulloquis. Although he was without the controversial Antonio Brown the Eulloquis had at their disposal Austin Ekeler, who they wisely acquired through the draft.


But now with recent developments, mainly the signing of Antonio Brown by the Patriots, the Eulloquis will be looking to double dip with Tom Brady and AB together.


...and that's pretty gay.

 2) Engineering Champions

 Engineering Champions had what was essentially a week one bye. But now the bullets will starts flying as they will face a common playoff adversary in Kaptain America. The duo of Watson and Hopkins proved to be lethal and will look to keep the connection strong rolling into week 2.



A pleasant surprise was the healthy showing of the often injured Dalvin Cook.


Lets just hope he tallies up points rather than trips to the IR.


1) Rigo Suaves

Hard to believe but the reigning champ began his campaign to defend his title with a tremendous win against Dude Where's my Carr? Riding off the superb performance of Saquan Barkley, and Pat Mahomes, the Suaves didn not struggle to put their first win up on the board. If similar outings  from these superstars are on the horizon, the Suaves will be a hard beat.





Bitch Move of the Week:



BonTito Freak for assembling the lineup with the least amount of points. Duds from Devonta Freeman and Sony Michel did not help.




Genius Move of the Week:



Rigo Suaves, for defending his title with a league high 291 points, including 74 points from Pat Mahomes and 45 from Evan Engram.




 Best Matchup for Week 2:


Musings from Around the NFL:























Stephen A Smith's Power Rankings:

Colin Cowherd's Top 10 teams:


NFL Highlights:

 Every touchdown:



Top 15 plays:



College Football Highlights:



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