Thursday, November 26, 2020

Thanksgiving Special Power Rankings

 

It's Thanksgiving day here in the GCL and we've all gathered to enjoy a wonderful meal and share what we're all thankful for this season. 


And i know that everyone's curious as to what we'll be having. But thankfully our beer bitch candidates know:




Sounds like a lovely thanksgiving feast that we shall have for ourselves.

Is the turkey ready Jesse?




Almost? okay well then let's invite our guests in and feast! 




Except for those at the end of the table because of their putrid record...


But before we commence, our commissioner has some words for us:



And now we shall start with our wine server this year, the turkey of the league.

So what are you thankful for, Suaves?

Ooh can't exactly articulate what you're thankful for huh? Maybe just rap it out buddy.


         

"Well I'm thankful for ESPN allowing Taysom Hill to be used as a Tight End. because otherwise, i'd suck even more... i'f that's possible."


Wow, that's embarrassing.. how pathetic.. but also, our bottom dwellers are providing tonight's pre dinner entertainment...



7) Juju's Republic




Well, what's the Republic thankful for?

"Well, i'm thankful for Alvin Kamara guys, he's a fucking Stud, best fantasy rb in football..and I was able to grab him in the second round." 

That's a great thing to be thankful for.

Oh wait, the republic has an encore for us...


6)  Dude Where's my Carr




"Well I'm thankful for Russell Wilson cooking, because without him I'd be a lot worse off. "

Russ is having an MPV type year. 

5) FX4 Gold Rush


"Well I'm thankful to not be beer bitch this year. That's pretty great."

We agree Erik. Good going bud!


4) Tito's CFO's



"Well I'm thankful to be in the running for a playoff spot. It had been a while. It feels pretty great."

The CFO's are currently holding on to that 4th seed.



3) Kaptain America


"Well I'm thankful for democracy... and Kyler Williams."

2) Engineer Beards


"Well I'm thankful for my pair of stud Wr's. I wouldn't have this record without them."

Hopkins and Adams are something else.. no denying that.



1) Porky's Prime Cuts



"Well I'm grateful to be the reigning champ and still have the best record in the league" 

And damn it he's right...

Well that concludes our Thanksgiving Special Power Rankings. And remember guys, today is a day of giving thanks, reflection and counting our blessings... oh and football!! 



Musings From Around the NFL:

 










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Thursday, November 19, 2020

Week 10 Power Rankings

Well gentlemen, another week has transpired in the Gold Coast League, and theres been some movement in the rankings, but there remains one constant..one reassurance.. One thing you can take to the bank.. And that's that we have the same beer bitch...managers of the GCL, behold... Your bartender!!




Beer Bitch) Rigo Suaves.

After yet another loss (6 in a row now), the Suaves are where they rightfully belong.. In the fucking gutter. What an astrocious amalgamation of players. But that shouldnt keep the beer from coming!!



And also, the beat never stops with the Suaves!




7) FX Gold Rush

The rush aren't too far behind from their Suave brethren, standing pat at number 7. They can't find the way to a win.





There's a lot of question that remain with this team, but there is and always one thing that remains certain... they enjoy beer.



Maybe they're drinking so much to forget their record. Or maybe they just want to leave the planet because they're just that fucking bad.




6) Juju's Republic

The republic is in turmoil. 




Their King, unresponsive, unable to deliver what the people covet....the illustrious win!! But when things can't seem to go your way, sometimes a drink is what a king needs.



Just in time to recover and fight for the Republic!!




5) Dude Where's my Carr?

It was no easy cruise for the dude this week. 






Last minute heroics from America's Murray rendered the dude's hope dead. Now they will rely on Russell for some heorics of his own when they face Tito's CFOs.



4) Bontito's CFO's 

Call the SEC at once!! These CFO's are rolling and looking for a place in the GCL playoffs. 



After easily handling the pathetic Rush, the CFO's look the Big Ben Pornhub Roethlisberger to deliver a victory.



Zeke is back from his bye and looking to eat!





3) Kaptain America

This must be Taskforce "Win the Fucking GCL" in full effect because America has won two straight games and is on the rise! 



America now looks to expell Cook and Watson, anyone the Rush deems worthy of playing against might America. Look for America too easily handle the rush, to take them down like the villain of a movie. It's a script only hollywood could write. One only America could star in.








2) Porky's Prime Cut

Porky turned to an unlikely fellow to face the Suaves. That man was none other than Lamar Big Truss Jackson.




The one time Suave faced his former team and gave them a big fuck you on the way out. Now Porky looks to further exercise his prowess against. This is one heavy weight, no one can bring down.








1) Engineer Beards

Not much has changed. The beards are still number one and handling teams off the back of Josh Allen.



The beard is in great shape.



And he's ready for whatever challenger steps up.





Bitch Move of the Week:





Rigo Suaves for scoring 145 points, the least amount of all teams, guaranteeing a loss, his sixth in a row.  






Genius move of the Week:




Tito's CFO's for sticking with Tom Brady after a dud in week 9, and seeing him come through with a phenomenal game, ensuring his victory against FX4 Gold Rush, and in turn earning himself a spot in the playoff picture. 



Matchup of the Week:









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Wednesday, November 11, 2020

Week 9 Power Rankings

After a five week hiatus, the rankings are back!! And they look very different. Some teams have remained at the top, while other have plummeted to the bottom. But most interesting is that we have a brand new beer bitch!! So without further ado...


Beer Bitch Spot) Rigo Suaves

Yes, gentlemen..your eyes do not deceive you.  The worst team of the Gold Coast is none other than the pitiful Suaves.  And as you could imagine, the find themselves in sad spirits...



But do not be sad suaves!! ... you will be serving us beer in no time!!!




Shake it up Rigo!!



Hows that beer taste, Bitch??



Cheers to more weeks as beer bitch!!

7) FX4 GoldRush

The gold rush have been in a tight race against the suaves to avoid the beer bitch spot, and until now the Rush have won the battle.



And are celebrating!!



That number 7 spot has the rush busting out the moves!!






6) Tito's CFO's 

After a promising streak, the CFO's have lost the last couple of games, bringing them to the number six spot.

He currently only has 4 wins... yes.. 4.


But it's alright the CFO's will dust it off and come back better... right??


5) Juju's Republic

The Republic has undergone weeks of turmoil now, and the people are helpless. Sad days for the king.



Kamara has not been enough to give the Republic a win, sadly.



But the republic has faith Kamara will be enough in the future!



4) Kaptain America

And just when you thought.. America was out... Just when you thought they were to concede..America had something to say...


And they won! America!!



Theyre back and they're coming!!




3) Dude Where's my Carr?

Dude is riding smoothly in third place.





The defeated the Republic, and will now look to beat America, on the shoulders of Russell Wilson, who's been rolling.





2) Porky's Prime CutsCuts

Porky is what you would consider a very strong second place team.






Porky's Prime Cuts are confident, and it's easy to be so with the stellar performances of Patrick Mahomes.






1) Engineer Beards

And back on top... the Beards! 







Despite a loss to America, Aaron Rodgers and the beards are sitting pretty with the number one spot.. 





But now they will go into the republic for week 10, and look to bring back a victory.






 Bitch Move of the Week:



Rigo Suaves for having the most amount of losses coming into week 10



Genius Move of the Week:


Kaptain America for mounting the unlikely comeback and scoring the most amount of points of the week.



Matchup of the Week:




Musings from around the NFL:

NFL Highlights: College Football Highlights:



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