Thursday, November 19, 2020

Week 10 Power Rankings

Well gentlemen, another week has transpired in the Gold Coast League, and theres been some movement in the rankings, but there remains one constant..one reassurance.. One thing you can take to the bank.. And that's that we have the same beer bitch...managers of the GCL, behold... Your bartender!!




Beer Bitch) Rigo Suaves.

After yet another loss (6 in a row now), the Suaves are where they rightfully belong.. In the fucking gutter. What an astrocious amalgamation of players. But that shouldnt keep the beer from coming!!



And also, the beat never stops with the Suaves!




7) FX Gold Rush

The rush aren't too far behind from their Suave brethren, standing pat at number 7. They can't find the way to a win.





There's a lot of question that remain with this team, but there is and always one thing that remains certain... they enjoy beer.



Maybe they're drinking so much to forget their record. Or maybe they just want to leave the planet because they're just that fucking bad.




6) Juju's Republic

The republic is in turmoil. 




Their King, unresponsive, unable to deliver what the people covet....the illustrious win!! But when things can't seem to go your way, sometimes a drink is what a king needs.



Just in time to recover and fight for the Republic!!




5) Dude Where's my Carr?

It was no easy cruise for the dude this week. 






Last minute heroics from America's Murray rendered the dude's hope dead. Now they will rely on Russell for some heorics of his own when they face Tito's CFOs.



4) Bontito's CFO's 

Call the SEC at once!! These CFO's are rolling and looking for a place in the GCL playoffs. 



After easily handling the pathetic Rush, the CFO's look the Big Ben Pornhub Roethlisberger to deliver a victory.



Zeke is back from his bye and looking to eat!





3) Kaptain America

This must be Taskforce "Win the Fucking GCL" in full effect because America has won two straight games and is on the rise! 



America now looks to expell Cook and Watson, anyone the Rush deems worthy of playing against might America. Look for America too easily handle the rush, to take them down like the villain of a movie. It's a script only hollywood could write. One only America could star in.








2) Porky's Prime Cut

Porky turned to an unlikely fellow to face the Suaves. That man was none other than Lamar Big Truss Jackson.




The one time Suave faced his former team and gave them a big fuck you on the way out. Now Porky looks to further exercise his prowess against. This is one heavy weight, no one can bring down.








1) Engineer Beards

Not much has changed. The beards are still number one and handling teams off the back of Josh Allen.



The beard is in great shape.



And he's ready for whatever challenger steps up.





Bitch Move of the Week:





Rigo Suaves for scoring 145 points, the least amount of all teams, guaranteeing a loss, his sixth in a row.  






Genius move of the Week:




Tito's CFO's for sticking with Tom Brady after a dud in week 9, and seeing him come through with a phenomenal game, ensuring his victory against FX4 Gold Rush, and in turn earning himself a spot in the playoff picture. 



Matchup of the Week:









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