Week 13 is upon us, meaning there are only three weeks left in the regular season.
3!!! Not 4, or 5... just 3.
Seasons will be made and broken the next three weeks.
If the Playoffs were to begin to day.. the matchups would look like this:
But they are not, so chill Beto.
The race has grown tighter for the four coveted spots. 302 Gold Rush stands third with Rigo Suave, Big Ben's Peter, and Team Eulloqui all in a standstill with 6 wins each.
And don't count out Porky's Prime Cuts with 5 wins.
One team we can count out is BonTito Freak... as he comes in at the bottom of our rankings.
10) Bon Tito Freak
The season has not gone the way the freak intended and now he is left to pick up the broken pieces. He seems to be the prime beer bitch candidate for the 2017 draft. The freaks will have to get extra naughty if they want to avoid what right now seems inevitable.
What do you think Tito.. Size Large??
Don't Worry... it's nipple proof.
Better grab a sharpie & start practicing that signature, freak. It's gonna be the first one on this shirt.
9) Joaquin's Dream Team
The dream team is in the middle of a three game losing streak and finds itself at a season-low, 9th ranking.
He's lost twice as many games as he's won.
He can say goodbye to the playoffs.
8) You Can Run But You Can't Hide
It's been a tough season for Black Ruben. Is he black? Is he white? He's just very confused. There's been a lot of time for reflection.
What's sad is that he can't run away from his problems. But Black Ruben can dream.
7) Porky's Prime Cuts
Porky is back in business after the massacre that was unleashed upon Joaquin this past thanksgiving weekend.
No Need for reservations...
Servers are ready....
...ready to serve those L to anyone that wants them...
6) Big Ben's Peter
2 straight losses has brought Big Ben all the way down to 6.
 |
| (Kuddos if you remember where this is from) |
Big Ben will have to start racking up some big wins as we hit the home stretch if he wants to make it to the big dance.
5) Team Eulloqui
This rookie has come on strong as of late, coming in clutch with two wins when he needed them the most.
He couldn't believe it.. as we have a live look in after he checked the game score Monday night:
Must be the alcohol.. there's no other logical explanation for his recent success.
4) Rigo Suave
Suave was really feeling confident before that matchup, but his inner self knew better.
Just no luck for the suaves this week. He can't even get it on facebook anymore.
A couple of besties!! That's What Rigo and the loss column are. Just a couple of buddies.
Suave, why you losing so hard??
Well one positive thing that's come from week 12 is that he would currently make the playoffs as a 4th seed.
The suaves will have to pick their game up if they want to remain in the playoff bracket.
3) 302 Gold Rush
302 smoked the suaves... moving back into the top 3.
Feeling like:
Cam Newton finally came in clutch, defeating his old team.
2) Kaptain America
America reacquainted itself with its winning ways. America has announced it's three week plan to improve heading to the playoffs... and it is a great one!
Kaptain America killed Fidel Castro with just the slip of a shirt.
We have already set out his wardrobe for the following press conference:
1) Sixburgh Steelers
The 6god had to sweat out a close match with the last place freaks. It was a nervous moment Monday night when the freaks were within 15 points of pulling the upset.
But the 6god was victorious and is only stronger for it. The victory has now secured the 6god with a playoff berth.
Who will be next? Tune in to the Week 13 Rankings to find out:
Bonus:
Random Funny Shit:
Bitch Move of the Week:
You Can Run But You Can't Hyde
for sitting Terrell Pryor (31 pts) for Brandin Cooks (0) in a matchup where he lost by 30.
Genius Move of the Week:
Porky's Prime Cuts
For scoring 223 pts, more than anyone... headlined by Aaron Rodgers with 59 points.
Best of Week 12:
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