Tuesday, November 8, 2016

Week 9 Power Rankings














Gold Coasters,  I'm getting word of a violent transgression was committed earlier today. All we know is that one of our own was gravely injured.  Please stand by for further details..

Wait..

 -- "what is that??.... we have the report?" ....

Coasters.. we now have the news coverage: 

   

Yes... this images are coming to us live from Sixburgh.

The 6god has gone down!!!! 

I repeat the  6god has gone down!!!!





It's a sad night in the 6.






... 

.. we're getting more live images...



We're getting footage of the prime suspect being taken.. please watch:

--" oh what was that ?? we have a picture of the perpetrator in custody??" 

Here .. we're getting a picture of the culprit in custody:



He does not seem to be regretful  of his actions by the look of his mugshot.

Wow... well please stay tuned for further details.

Reports from the 6 aside.. we must report that it is election night, the biggest night in America. And as thus occasion demand (because America is the greatest nation in the world) we will be having an all out American, Election, Starspangled fucking banner version of the rankings...

Yankee doodle dandee you bitches! 

'merica!!!

So lets get started you fucking illegals. Coming in at 10... 

10) BonTito Freak...

Well, what can we say that hasn't already been said? It's just been a tough season for the freaks. If they have anything going for them it's that they won't be deported because the freaks go out and vote in masses. 


Isn't that great.     * No saliva was used in the seal for this ballot.*

9)  Porky's Prime Cut

Things looked to be trending upwards for the pork.. but recent polls tell us he's down by like 8 fucking wins. 

Country's going kosher. 







8) You Can Run But You Can't Hyde

Through the measure of Affirmative Action Black Ruben was awarded a win during week 8. It is these types of policies that ensure parody in our Gold Coast. They are vital to maintaining fantasy leagues equal and fair. You're  welcome.

  




No more all white fantasy football leagues.




Not that we're white... but you get it.     'mericah.  

7) Team Eulloqui

I've shared my opinions of these terrorists  with you all before. But i'll say it again! Out with them! They have taken win from the Kaptain America one too many times. They have beat us to waiver wire additions and I cannot stand to see any more of it. Expel these Eulloqui's from our shores. 

Sure they blend in at first....


start partying with you...



Start dating your family members... cousins...


Sneak into your fantasy league... 

and thats when they fuck you!  Then it's too late. Thats when they've won. 

Let's go code red on these motherfuckers.



No more terrorism in fantasy football leagues.



6) Joaquin's Dream Team

The dream is not dead. It remains. It refuses to die. Somehow someway it finds itself with a chance to win. 

Joaquin.. if you're team was a candidate.. it would this guy:



No one wants to see you win. But somehow.. some fucking way the dream always has a chance. 

This would be a nightmare we'd all would like to wake up from.


5) Big Ben's Peter

Nothing says America like rape. Looks like Big Ben took his homie trumps advice about grabbing them by the pussy too serious.



Oh yeah... he's waving that terrible towel now..



But this week it was Big Ben taking all the raping. That whole line up did.. at the hands of the Kaptain. Even trump had some words to describe Big Ben's Peter's lineup.


4) Rigo Suave

Breaking the top 4 in the polls for the first time are the Suaves. So smooth these guys so suave... just like one of our past  presidents.






Check Rigos new mixtape covers..




Here a track from one of the tapes.




He's so slick now he's slipping into dm's just to curve those hoes..




3) 302 Gold Rush

Well with Trump currently winning the election, gold value has gone down drastically. 
Sadly, this is what's being done with America's gold resources at the moment.



Gold is losing value by the minute.





I pity the foo with all that gold right now.



2) Sixburgh Steelers

The six is in mourning. It's god has fallen. 






You can circle an L on his ballot. For the first time this season.. the six has lost. 

And now for our new number 1 
....
... only fitting on this election day 2016
... 
... that we find...
...

1) Kaptain America 

America the great... America the beautiful... America, number one..



Glad you agree black ruben.









My current anthem...




So until further notice here are the rankings.  In all seriousness lets pray to god Trump doesn't win.

Bonus:

Random Funny Shit:
Bitch Move of the Week:

Bon Tito Freak

 for starting Marvin Jones and having the least points scored this past week.
Genius Move of the Week:


Rigo Suave

 for taking down the previous undefeated 6god. And Melvin Gordon.. that's a baaad man.
The League Video of the Week:

 In spirit of all the shaky ballot cheating we've endured by republicans in the past..

Best of Week 9:






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