**** Now, Disclaimer....
To enjoy the optimal Halloween Edition I recommend you press play on the video below as you proceed with the rankings... let it play......
It's Halloween night on the Gold Coast.
And a storm rages on our shores..
Sleeting our beaches with the blood of the undead.. of the fantasy fallen that just refuse to die. On this night, Halloween night, they rise from their graves and haunt us for one more time.
Find shelter. Lock Your doors. Your windows. Hide if you must. But even then, I must warn you... the fantasy fallen mercy no one...
Now follow me if you will .....into my humble abode....Mansion America....
Follow me upstairs...I plead you
Now come... gather around the fire....
Oh... hello there. You made it...
Grab yourself a drink and relax... and let me tell you the horrifying tale of the Week 8 Power Rankings, a tale never before told that will send chills down your spine...
It was all hallows eve when at ten, we had the Freaks come in...
10) BonTito Freak
Thunder and rain beset the gold Coast Cemetery... where these freaks lied
Their coffins rattled with life...
And they woke..
Rose from the dead ...
Only to be freaky one more night...
9) You Can Run But You Can't Hyde
And on this night, after a win against the freaks, the evil Black Ruben walked out from his cave finding some of his cursed color back.
He thought it better to cover it.
And even yet... it was still a horrid scene.
So he added what some here call.... "swag"
He kicked back and celebrated his fantasy victory that night.
Slowly he gained strength and learned to walk again... although there were mishaps..
It was a "Hyde" type of transformation.
And the Black Rubens ran wild.
It's a true story... they ran to a victory.
8) Porky's Prime Cuts
Then, there was this little piggy that grew bloodthirsty.
Acquired the Gronk and began taking out opponents...beginning with the Eulloqui himself.
And to celebrate he brought back the classic happy meals at Porky's..
I, however, would be weary of the meat...
7) Joaquin's Dream Team
And then there was a man.. who had a dream....
And since his team began to suck he dug his grave.. where his playoff hopes would lie to rest...
His team was in the gutter.
But what Joaquin didn't know was that bad things happened in his dreams.
Someone lurked there...
Ready to slaughter any one who sucks in fantasy football...
In other words... you Joaquin...
6) Team Eulloqui
And then there were the Eulloquis... and they tried to sneak up on opponents.
But their efforts were futile as their fantasy scores diminished. They didn't want to accept their defeats.
Their eyes could not bear to see,
They spoke to them about a fantasy win, and replied:
5) Rigo Suave
Then there was a cunning suave man that all the women lusted for.
He was lost in a deep forest.
Where he encountered a headless horsemen.
But he had the elixir of Tom Brady now... he chucked the deflated skull right back at him,,,
... and defeated him easily.
And with another win, with playoff hopes within strike, he returned to one of his many girls..
to listen to his new Halloween rap beat...
So smooth...
4) Big Ben's Peter
Under the Big Ben tower.... in an underground cellar...
there lived a monster that was really big.
And he lived off eating opponents..
But the 6god proved to be too big of a meal that night so he was left with no eyes to see a victory, and with no meal to fill his hunger.
3) 302 Gold Rush
Now let me tell you about the evil leprechaun that only wanted gold.
But that night he tried to take gold from the wrong country...
No more gold chains.
2) Kaptain America
Now let me tell you about the hero in our story. He was a mysterious figure.. killing leprechauns and pigs... giant monsters and freaks.
An unstoppable force... an American Werewolf ...
Not in London.. but in the Gold Coast...
Unleashing fury every full moon.
Massacring the competition.
1) Sixburgh Steelers
Now let me tell you about the deadliest one of them all.. the one that bears the mark of the beast...
He's bore it since birth...
His name is the 6god.
And he thirsts for fantasy wins. It's all the beast ever wants. He never has enough. God save us all from such a horrible savage.
Well.... that concludes our story.
It has come time for me to go.. I bid you adieu..
The storm has passed...
The shores have receded..
Dawn has come... and the monsters, the fantasy fallen must now vanquish...
Slither back into their cursed graves..
Until next all hallows eve...
The Week 8 victors can now rest easy and enjoy a victory cigar.
Bonus:
Random Funny Shit:
The League Video of the Week:
The Ghost Monkey Song
Bitch Move of The Week:
302 Gold Rush
for getting the trick rather than the treat in the Tom Brady Trade.. and then not even putting a QB in his starting lineup... no that it would've made a difference.
Brady says hey.
Genius Move of the Week:
Rigo Suave
for masterfully conducting two trades during the last week that landed him Tom Brady and Quincy Enunwa who both netted him 105 points.
Best Of Week 8:
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