Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Week 5 Power Rankings

Gentlemen, today's rankings signify that we've passed the first third of the season.

Now, some have fared better than others, but we all still have 10 games to claim a playoff berth. No matter where you stand here today do not lose faith. Pray to the fantasy gods to shine down on your lineup, and maybe, just maybe.. you'll be one of the lucky four that will play for our crowned jewel, the most coveted, glorious Trofeo Del Oro. 

Well wait a minute.. I take that back. ALMOST, all of us.

BonTitoFreak... your playoff hopes ..well they're not looking so hot. They're hanging on to dear life.. look for yourself.. the current state of your playoff aspirations..




It's time to call 911 on that lineup.

That is why today, you remain at


10) BonTitoFreak


Another mojoless week for the freak. There's no telling if he'll ever be able to regain his winning libido.


Images of where it was last seen.




You gotta Mclove that. If anything needs lubing its that record. Still winless. 


Gronk's reemergence was not enough. And let's just hope Tito doesn't run into him at the local grocery store.




The freak just can't do it.





It's an all time low for this once championship team.


Russell and Gronk seem to already be in offseason mode.




Dyer times for the freak indeed.




9) Porky's Prime Cut


Porky's had to change their window display once again after another loss.




It was not great...




Aaron not digging the food either at porky's




He'll have to cook up a better lineup if he wants to stay in business.



8) You can Run But you Can't Hyde


Lightskin Ruben has lost more and more pigmentation with every loss.


The last seen images of him.




He tried to get the run going, but...






It's sad, just how much You can run has slowed down this season.




Really slowed down. Especially his qb, and no one likes that.




And...










7) Rigo Suave:

All was love and roses for the suaves this weekend as they found their winning ways again.


You break up to make up.




A video posted by NFL (@nfl) on






Super smooth. Super cool.




Pick up game improved.





An actual beat of his:





























6) Team Eulloqui

The burthday boy falls short by one measly point.


One point.. one.


Uno.


Un.


Eins.


Um.


Unus.


Jeden.


Odin.


One.....








Eli couldn't believe it.






Did I mention it was his birthday?



Happy Bday Jess!









5) Big Ben's Peter

Hey!  I'm Big Ben. I fucking win and I'm this big...




Fuck yeah.. also.. interesting fact..I golf with Trump.



And apparently I kill trees too.


This is me after the game:




I tried to fuck her in the restroom after. Turns out she's a tree lover. Her loss. 



4) Joaquin's Dream Team

Per usual, Joaquin fell asleep watching his players this weekend..but this time he had a visitor..




Wake up bitch!! hahah jk.. what for? Its not like there was anything to check up on. The 6god killerclowned your line up by over 100 points. 

Thought you would win for third week straight huh? as they say... In your dreams!!!


Joaquin going to bed last night like...




"ya, ya... ya no llores mijo.. el payaso ya se fue.." Sweet dreams, buddy.


3) Kaptain America

Just grabbing  competition by the pussy.





Dont be scurred pussies.


My new team fight song:





I'm a star fuckers... I can do whatever I want. I wake up and have a championship bfast.





And I got my eyes on the number one spot






2) 302 Gold Rush

Got gold all up in his chain again. 


Another one...


  After his long awaited return Tom Brady proved to be money.


We caught up with him at the Cleveland Marriot Staurday Night before his debut Sunday:





Will Brady's return spell doom for the gold coast?



The gold is good..




Sitting shotgun in these rankings... while number one cruises on the wheel for the second week straight...





1) ....



And he's still here.

Sixburgh Steelers




Can't no one mess with his flow..


Still undefeated.





Bonus:


Random Funny Shit:











A photo posted by NFL MEMES (@nflmemes_ig) on


The League Video of the Week:


Since it was Jesse's birthday...






Bitch Move of the Week:






Joaquin's Dream Team

for having a disappointing outing following his stellar week 4. He scored the fewest of anyone with only 124 points.







Genius Move of the Week:




The Sixburgh Steelers


For remaining undefeated and scoring a whopping 259 points.  Derek Carr put up 60 connecting on multiple occassions with Amari Cooper. Also, his RB1 David Johnson had a career night.









Best of Week 5:













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