Tuesday, October 4, 2016

Week 4 Power Rankings


....can you hear that?

 ....no?

 ...listen a little closer....



that's the sound of waves crashing onto our golden shore, of rankings shifted...

 that sound, gentlemen, is the sound of a new number one.. of  julio jones going for 300 yards, the sound of a floundering Matthew Stafford, of dreams coming true, of defending champions weeping..

 that is the sound of  new Power Rankings, gentlemen...

 now... before we begin i plead you all to please join me in moment of silence for the holy fucking beating 302 endured this past Sunday.

 302's Week 4 lineup... RIP













Now...lets begin...

Coming in at 


10)  Bon TitoFreak

The freak is the only remaining winless team. Not even Le'veon's triumphant return was enough to get the freaks their first W. 

The mojo is definitely lone gone, and doesn't appear to be coming back anytime soon. Footage of where we last saw the missing mojo:


God damn you Leo!! 

Meanwhile, Gronk seems unfazed by the current status of the team....as can be seen here:


  

The gronk has not counted for many points, but he definitely has not lost his mojo. The freak not in a good mood as of now.


Live look in of Tito in San Jo after checking his fantasy score:


After the game, when questioned by reporters:





Will they? 


9) Porky's Prime Cut

Things definitely did not get better at Porky's Prime Cuts these week. The restaurant's sanitary grade was downgraded to a big sloppy B this week as a result... luckily porky has been able to mas it for now.


Some footage of what transpired this weekend at Porky's.


                                         


Unos burritos de frijolitos, mijo? No fuckin thanks bro !!

Its fatter than you!! Ouch, porky.

Porky's gonna have to serve up a new defense and offense if he wants any hopes of making a reservation for the playoffs.


8)  Rigo Suave 

There was nothing smooth about the suaves last week.  Nothing worked. There is no pick up line in the world that could save the Suaves from the loss this past weekend.

We actually caught up with Rigo at Allan Hancock College this past week.. this is what we saw:



Yeah, just text her you fuckin creep! 

No pickup line in the world could've saved the suaves this week. But that didn't mean he didn't try...





To improve his chances with the honeys, Rigo started working out with his number one pick, OBJ:




Odell, himself had a heck of a day as well:


Despite his bad luck with the ladies, Rigo Suave can smile knowing another one of his beats has become a hit outside of the states...




I think these guys have a song with Kanye too.  That shit's cray.



7) You can Run but you Can't Hyde

At this point.... he ain't even trying.. he's just:

A video posted by WorldstarHipHop (@worldstar) on




It was a close match that came down to the last minutes of MNF but White Ruben prevailed, and  Black Ruben, well Black Ruben can't call himself Black anymore. He's gone soft.

He's Lighskin Ruben now.. peep him out:







6) Team Eulloqui


Team Eulloqui came out victorious in the battle of the rookies... as was expected. 

Eli reminds the Suaves that they can suck on his...



Doug Baldwin shitted all over the suaves...



5)  Big Ben's Peter

Big Ben got away with a close one... but it wouldn't be the first time Big Ben got away with something...



It was great win for the home team and it was safe sex night night at the the stadium, the first 10,000 fans received their own...


Rigo suave passed on his... he took it raw. He already has aids so its whatevs.


4) 302 Gold Rush

Erik should just have known from the very start:


There's no way around it.. 302's gold was snatched!!

and Erikito was not a happy camper...




Aw... he just wants his gold back. But it's gone buddy. 




Shit''s still straight fire in 2016. Beto can only aspire to such heat.

The good news is that we have seen Erik's gold repurposed and put to good use... here some proof:

Dan Patrick got a grill
And marshwan

 Even 2 chainz got his hands on some:

As far as the game plan against Julio, Herm Edwards had some thoughts:


A live look in while erik checked his fantasy score:

 Julio was just straight up on Erik like:

Erik was like:


The only good news 302 Gold Rush received this week is that the prodigal son returns...

3) Kaptain America

Whoooooo. Kaptain America won his second game in a row as he defeated the freak in a somewhat easy matchup.
Zeke be like:

Brees be like:


Kaptain America just be whooping that...



It's a party over here. 


America the great... America the beautiful ... rising.. .soaring up the rankings.




2) Joaquin's Dream Team

Joaquin this week be like:
It is real life.. dreams do come true...



Joaquin beat his brothers ass in his dream like:
And when he woke up Monday morning, and he left Erica for work... he was in a great mood:



Julio was just a savage for him that's why.
Even Gruden shared his thoughts on Julio.


And our new one.. drum roll please...



......

boom...
                                                     

The 6god straight of sixburgh....


1) Sixburgh Steelers

Still undefeated.. not a worry in the world..





All is good in the hood... until next week at least...



BONUS

Random Funny Shit:








Bitch Move of The Movie




 302 Gold Rush

Last week's Genius is this week's bitch. 302's line up failed to reach triple digits. The whole lineup was just horrific.  A measly 85 points. Julio Jones alone beat his entire lineup.


Shocking.... I know.

 Genius Move of The Week:


Joaquin's Dream Team
Joaquin's entire team (lineup and bench) amassed  379 points. Meaning his line up overscored Erik's by nearly 300%. Shit...
But the star of the show was Julio Jones...

The League Video of The Week:




Best Of The Week 4:








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